It is still unbelievable that my nephew Ben passed away at the age of 39. As I listened to the many stories at his celebration of life, I started to think of the lessons that I learned from Ben. I heard what made him special to so many people. Someone said that Ben's currency was people. And another person said that they will often think WWBD (What Would Ben Do) when faced with uncertain situations. Joel said that Ben could have been a saint...if there was such a thing as partying non-Catholic saints! I've compiled a list, to touch on the lessons I can learn from his life so well lived.
- Make your currency people. Value people, all people. It seems simple, but somehow it's not.
- Show up. Someone told a story of not having seen Ben in a year or two and had moved a few hours away. They invited Ben to their baby shower-never imagining that he would attend. Ben showed up. He was there for you, and your parties, and your sorrows.
- Be All In. I can't tell many of the All In stories, but Ben was all in...for good or bad! Ben went to an audition when he was probably 9. He learned on the way there that he was supposed to have a monologue. His cousins tried to teach him their monologue in the car. Without a worry, he went in to perform it strongly and confidently while making most of it up. The audition panel was highly entertained, and that is how Ben got the role of Tiny Tim in Ford's Theater's Christmas Carol in Washington D.C.
- Travel. I don't remember the number, but I think that Ben traveled to over 35 different countries. He was always traveling, in groups or with an individual, but always traveling with friends. He had a true world view, and love of learning about this world. A story was told about his planned trip to Egypt with a friend when there was great instability in Egypt and serious travel warnings. They did not want to cancel their trip. The friend said that she would blend in, which was probably true. Ben said that he would blend in, too. They finally cancelled the trip.
- You can't have too many best friends. Ben had a LOT of best friends, and they really were best friends. Someone said that Ben introduced them at a party as his best friend...and then he heard Ben introducing someone else as his best friend. When he asked Ben about it, Ben easily explained that he was his best friend who...(make something up...like he watches football with), and the other person was his best friend who...(and some other reason...like he met when he first moved there). Make your friends your family, and your family your friends.
- Share the Love! Show your love. Be the person that greets everyone with all the love in your heart. Be the hugger. Ask anyone about a greeting from Ben. Thank goodness it is strong in my heart and memory, because I will miss this so very much.
- Work for the Good. Ben cared about justice and doing the right thing toward others. He was willing to speak out and work for it. Be bold when it is for good. He was a good lawyer with a big heart. Believe it or not, they exist!
When something happened to Ben that might seem horrible to some, it ended up as a great story. We can keep telling these stories that exemplify looking at life as an adventure, full of humor and friends, sunshine and love.
These blue shirts say, "I'm Ben's best friend."
This is written with so much love for Ted and Bryan, Cindy and Conner, and all the family and friends, friends who were family, and everyone else whose lives Ben touched.
